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CH-CH-CH-CHIA!

It has been a long time since my last post. I have made three trips to Driggs Idaho in the last month+. I decided to take this week off to try and get reacqauinted with my family. I took Ethan and Holly to school this morning and decided to drop by Walgreens. I like reviewing the most recent marital aids and contraceptives. As I was walking out I noticed something that I have been on quest to locate for the last 2 years. That's right, a new Homer Simpson Chia Pet!! I keep hinting at Barb that it is something I would like for Christmas, but she always claims there are never any left. Well, to her surprise, I decided not to wait this year.
Ethan was most excited as well as he has kept asking me all day when we would set it up. Here are some pics. We will keep you updated on Homer's progress.

The One and Only!

HowManyOfMe.com

There is 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

SUCK ON THAT!

Don't Titilate Me!

The best thing about the Olympic Opening Ceremonies last night?
The teaser for season 5 of "The Office". Love that Slap Face!
Oh yeah, and if you like stoner movies go check out "Pineapple Express". Went and saw it at lunch yesterday. Five Stars!

Reflections On the Past Week

This has been a very interesting week for me. Just some random thoughts and musings.

1. I think I am developing OCD when it comes to my lawn. I have a couple of spots in my yard that the sprinklers don't quite cover. At night I go out with the hose and water my little friends (blades of grass) to make sure they get fed. I almost end up hand-watering (I won't tell you what kind of 'job' I tell Barb I am giving it) the whole yard. I now mow the front lawn twice a week and the backyard once a week. I cringe when I see the lawn right before I mow it. I don't want my neighbors to think I am raising a hippie yard.
2. I have recently re-discovered the joys of Progressive Rock. No longer a relic of the 70's-with new bands like The Mars Volta and Coheed and Cambria, progressive rock is continuing to give me chills that run up and down my back. I have also rediscovered how much I still like Heavy Metal-sorry Mom.
3. Whe does a woman get a month off for a hysterectomy, but if I go in for a vasectomy I need to be into work the next day? I understand the shock that a woman goes through of having a part of her body removed, but the possibility of a man touching my money-maker makes me shudder-and not with excitement.
4. Ethan is becoming quite the little hitter. I recently bought a wiffle-ball set and have been throwing balls to him. He is building up some hand-eye coordination and hitting the ball real well.
5. The other night Mason was real fussy and wouldn't calm down. We were watchng the Colbert Report and they had Rush on as a special guest. As soon as they started playing "Tom Sawyer" Mason calmed down and was transfixed. Yeah!!! I DVR'd it and play it back for him. He also loves listening/watching Guitar Hero. Hopefully he'll be my little rocker!
6. Yes! Ralph Nader is on the ballot in Utah. Now my choice won't be limited to a Grumpy Old White Man or a Black Celebutante. Neither appeals to me. Go Ralph!

It's Just a Funny Name!

Another Day, Another Bank Failure

It has been some time since my last post. Unfortunately, Barb makes me sound like a miserable old coot. Just very frustrated that I am still working the same job that I have been for the last 5 years and prospects seem to be slim. Oh well, Rodney Kind said it best when he said "We shall overcome". I think I am just frustrated that it has been a long summer without any new episodes of "The Office" and I think Ethan deleted the last three episodes of Season 4 off my DVR.

Anyway, this last week has been eventful. One of my fine counterparts at work took last week off to go the Shakespearean Festival in Cedar City. One of her branches called me on Tuesday and had a customer who was panicking about the failure of IndyMac Bank down in Pasadena. He had an account with a lot of money in it and was concerned about FDIC insurance. He insisted that he be able to withdraw $650,000 in cash. We tried to dissuade him but he would have none of it. We made arrangements for him to do this. So , needless to say, he has put himself at great risk of losing $650,000 in cash and losing all the interest that would be paid to him. Even at 2%, that is a lot of money.

Anyway, finished reading 3 books by Dennis Lehane. "Mystic River", "Gone Baby Gone", and "Darkness, Take My Hand". Very goods yarns, but also VERY dark. I need something funny to read. Any suggestions would be welcome. I might have to re-read "Who Moved My BlackBerry"-probably the funniest book I have ever read.

Also, I recommend to anyone out there, go see "Hellboy II, The Golden Army". This is what summer movies are all about. Lots of action and humor. I cried myself silly when Hellboy and Abe Sapien sat and sang along to Barry Manilow's "I Can't Smile Without You". Go see it!

Rough Day at the Office

Finally a reprieve!

After ending the 2nd quarter on a somewhat good note, the Community Banking President for the North Davis area decided to take her manangers and consultants (Me) out for a day on the town. Now, I have never been much of a morning person, I am at my peak between 11:00 AM and 2:00 PM, but today I was able to stir out of my bed at 6:00 AM. By the way, I had no idea the sun was out that early in the summer. I showered and jumped in the car for a quick jaunt over to the Valley View Golf Course in Layton for a quick 9 holes. It was still nice an cool so I really didn't even break a sweat. Thank the Lord for golf carts.

After that we headed over to the Frontrunner Station in Layton and hopped the train to go down to Salt Lake. I hate the morning commute through Davis County and the Frontrunner was a great time. Smooth ride and air conditioned. We got off at the Gateway and quickly went over to the Megaplex for a viewing of "Wall-E". Good movie, even better 20 minute cat-nap.

After the movie we went to Baggia's for lunch where I enjoyed a nice Fettucine with Lobster dish. Sure was good-especially after a light nap.

We were given gift cards to spend on ourselves a little bit. After a bit of shopping, we jumped back on the Frontrunner and made or way home.

Needless to say, I am exhausted. I may need to take tomorrow off!

Carrying the Fire

Mind-numbing conference calls make for great opportunities for posting.

A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with one of my service managers about good books. He recommended that I pick up and read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. I was somewhat intrigued knowing that the author had written "No Country for Old Men" which recently had won the Academy Award for Best Picture. (No, I haven't seen it yet and am still debating on it).

I picked up a copy the book on Tuesday and finished it Wednesday night. All I can say is WOW! This has to be the best book I have read in a long time. It details the journey of a father and his young son living in a post-apocalyptic world. The sun is osbscured by nuclear ash and it is very cold. The only possessions of the father and son are kept in a shopping cart as they journey on The Road. The father carries a pistol with only two rounds in it. They must scavenge for food and avoid what few survivors they encoutner. The journey's end contains no promises of a better life, but they must go, because they are "carrying the fire".

Yes, this was an Oprah Book Club selection. Yes, I consider it a love story (between father and son). And yes, I loved every page. McCarthy's prose is stark if not beautiful. I loved the style and I am so glad that Barb was asleep whenI finished the book. I did not want her to see my emotions. She never lets me live that stuff down.

Pick it up and read it. Let me know your thoughts.

http://www.amazon.com/Road-Oprahs-Book-Club/dp/0307387895/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214580554&sr=8-1

What the Schmatz?!

Weird things are abounding in the burgeoning metropolis of Clinton, Utah. I have been having strange dreams as of late. Last night was probably the most surreal of all. I dreamt I was in training, in Jerusalem to become a Rabbi. Yes, a Rabbi. As part of my final test, I had to recite a Yiddish prayer verbatim, including all of the slurring of Ls and such at the Wailing Wall. My little Jewish friend (I don't know his name, nor did I know I had a Jewish friend)and I passed our final trial. We were both given new blue satin Yarmulkes and prayer shawls. We then headed over to the public bath for a schvitz.
Maybe it is my inner Jew coming out in me. Maybe it is the fact that I watched Neil Diamond's "The Jazz Singer" about 5 times in the last 3 months. Or maybe it is a global conspiracy to get people hooked on purine foods. I don't know, but my Mission President's counsel to me before I came home was to remember my dreams. This is one that will be pondered upon continuously. So, L'chaim!

The Office-Japanese Style

Check this out! Ricky Gervais-the creator and star of the British version of The Office was on SNL the other night. Ricky is awesome! Very, very funny. If you ever get the chance, rent a copy of the British version. I won't make any comparisons to the U.S. version because I love them both. This version only lasted 2 seasons (in typical British fashion) and then they ran a Christmas special which tied everything together very nicely. In fact, the ending was very touching. You get to see what happens to Dawn and Tim (or Pam and Jim). Check it out. I promise you will not be disppointed.

A Queen and a Princess

Happy Birthday to the two most important women in my life. Barb and Holly both celebrated their birthdays today. Yeah! I don't know what I would do without Barb in my life. If I didn't have her I wouldn't have anybody to answer the phone and make difficult calls to have the windshield replaced. I wouldn't have Direct TV because I can't call people on the phone and I doubt I would have gas, water and electricity.
Holly on the other hand: Now I think I understand what being a father is all about. A long time ago I used to harbor a real grudge against my dad for the fact that he let my sisters get away with murder. If I even looked at him wrong, I was dead. The girls however, could tell him to go to hell and he wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. His reply: 'Girls are different'. I understand now. Yesterday I took Holly to go get some lunch and as we were drving along she said "Dad, I love you". At that moment my heart melted.
Happpy Birthday girls! I love you both!

Random Thoughts.......

More Ramblings:

1. Why the hell won't my ear clear up? I have poured everything short of battery acid into my ear and it still won't unclog. I tried listening to my iPod last night-only got it in mono.
2. Did anybody watch the season finale of 'The Office' last week? I think everybody was disappointed that Jim did not propose to Pam. Not me. I was elated to see Dwight hook back up with Angela again. I have always maintained that their relationship was the best and most intriguing. 2 marginal people in love-it doesn't get any better than that. I was also happy to see Ryan land in jail. He's bugged me ever since Season 1. Hope he stays there.
3. The Yankees are 4 games under .500 and 8 games behind the Red Sox who have the best record in the majors. By the way, anybody see John Lester pitch a no-hitter the other night? Not bad for somebody who last year was recovering from cancer. Go Sox!
4. I have some major mixed feelings about what is happening in Texas. I in no way condone polygamy and I abhor abuse in any form. However, I have concerns with what I see as the disregard for civil liberties and rights for the members of the FLDS church. Just seems that Texas Child Protective Services decided to go in and yank 400+ children out of their homes, separating them from their families. All of this appears to have been done because of the suspiscion of abuse. Where is the evidence? And also, why are they not allowed to have their scriptures? We have learned many lessons about religious persecution in this country, much of it the hard way. Fortunately, the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals seems to have some common sense and ordered the children returned to their families today.
5. I still love mowing my lawn.

My Own Blog

Welcome to my blog. I am still feeling like poop today so I worked from home trying to catch up on 200+ emails for the 3 days that I have been out. I decided to do my own blog so that everybody could see what happens inside a madman's brain. Besides, Barb is good at writing about lollipops and rainbows and kid's things. Just some random thoughts:


1. Last Tuesday night I had my first Hank Hill moment. I was out adjusting sprinklers when my neighbor came over and introduced himself to me. His house is just kiddie corner from ours and he is always out working in his yard. He wanted to tell me that my yard was coming along great and that he appreciated neighbors who took an interest in their yards. He said, "I can tell you've been working your but off and it is starting to show." I walked around all night with a puffed-out chest until I was felled by the flu later in the evening. I haven't mowed my lawn lately and it is starting to look like a California Hippie-long, unkempt, and unsightly.
2. I love Christopher Guest. For anybody who doesn't know, Christoper Guest is the genius behind the movie "This is Spinal Tap". It is a mockumentary about a fictional British Heavy Metal band on the downside of their careers. Over the weekend, being sick and all, I had the opportunity to watch 4 of his other movies, "Waiting for Guffman", "Best in Show", "A Mighty Wind", and "For Your Consideration". The first 3 are typical mockumentaries, the last is a movie about a movie. He usually employs the same very talented cast for his movies and a lot of the script is improvised. The thing I like about Mr. Guest the best though is that he keeps a very low profile in Hollywood. He has no use for the glitterati of it all. He is also married to Jamie Lee Curtis. Check out these movies for a great laugh.
3. I hate being sick. I hate it even more when Barb is sick as well. She has been a saint to me for the last week and I am truly blessed to have her as my wife. I would have left me a long time ago.