What the Schmatz?!

Weird things are abounding in the burgeoning metropolis of Clinton, Utah. I have been having strange dreams as of late. Last night was probably the most surreal of all. I dreamt I was in training, in Jerusalem to become a Rabbi. Yes, a Rabbi. As part of my final test, I had to recite a Yiddish prayer verbatim, including all of the slurring of Ls and such at the Wailing Wall. My little Jewish friend (I don't know his name, nor did I know I had a Jewish friend)and I passed our final trial. We were both given new blue satin Yarmulkes and prayer shawls. We then headed over to the public bath for a schvitz.
Maybe it is my inner Jew coming out in me. Maybe it is the fact that I watched Neil Diamond's "The Jazz Singer" about 5 times in the last 3 months. Or maybe it is a global conspiracy to get people hooked on purine foods. I don't know, but my Mission President's counsel to me before I came home was to remember my dreams. This is one that will be pondered upon continuously. So, L'chaim!